Understanding and Embracing the Art of Child-Centered Divorce
A “child-centered” divorce requires, first and foremost, empathy by, for, and between the divorcing parents.
Perceived weaknesses of the other parent are addressed collaboratively through detailed parenting agreements or with the help of a third-party therapists rather than by one parent seeking to use the weaknesses of the other parent to somehow win custody of the children.
A “child-centered” divorce requires, first and foremost, empathy by, for, and between the divorcing parents. Empathy is not pity for the other parent or one parent’s “willingness” to help the other parent because that parent perceives themselves to be a more effective parent than the other parent. Empathy is a sincere recognition of the other parent’s circumstances, without judgment or comparison, coupled with a sincere commitment to do whatever may be necessary to address the other parent’s issues or concerns for the benefit of that parent maintaining a healthy and loving relationship with the children.
There are No Perfect Parents
Perceived weaknesses of the other parent are addressed collaboratively through detailed parenting agreements or with the help of a third-party therapists rather than by one parent seeking to use the weaknesses or imperfections of the other parent to somehow win custody of the children. Our law presumes that children are best served by having equal, continuing, and predictable parenting time with both parents. It further presumes all parents are “fit to parent” unless there has been a concrete act or omission on the part of one parent that has previously caused a significantly adverse impact upon the children. Absent the same, all parents are presumed “fit to parent” and should employ empathy in reaching agreements concerning their children.
Minimize the Emotional Toll of Divorce
Mediation can mitigate the emotional toll of divorce. The adversarial nature of litigation exacerbates conflict, delays the healing process, and can be harmful to children involved in the divorce. In contrast, mediation offers a supportive environment where couples can express their emotions and find closure in a constructive manner. By fostering understanding and empathy, mediation lays the groundwork for healthier co-parenting relationships and smoother transitions for all involved.
As a mediation lawyer, Howard Mendelson offers couples a transformative alternative to traditional divorce litigation and proceedings. By promoting communication, collaboration, cost-effectiveness, empowerment, and emotional healing, mediation helps couples navigate their divorce with grace and dignity, paving the way for a brighter future.
