Mediation for Divorce and Family Law Matters in New Jersey

Mediation is an effective method for resolving divorce and family law issues, often used as an alternative to court litigation.

Mediation for Divorce in New Jersey

Here's how it works and how it's typically applied in divorce and family law matters:

Mediation is an effective method for resolving divorce and family law issues to preserve relationships and protect the emotional well-being of children. Mediation can also help reduce the costs typically associated with traditional divorce or child custody issues. 

Mediation is particularly appropriate for family law matters because divorcing couples or unmarried parents get to “control the process” and, in so doing, make child-centered decisions that result in win-win solutions that work for their family. 

Mediation can help reduce the costs typically associated with traditional divorce or child custody issues. 

Custody and parenting time issues can be addressed by and between the parents themselves, without input, control, or potential consequences associated with court proceedings or involving third parties in their children’s lives. The parties’ joint marital funds that would otherwise be used to hire combating attorneys and resort to stone-throwing can then be used for counseling, education expenses, family vacations, and extracurricular activities. Mediation permits parents to save their money to support two healthy households for their children after their separation or divorce. 

The parties, themselves, are empowered to decide what terms are going to be included in THEIR Marital Settlement Agreement or Final Judgement of Divorce. With the help of a mediator, real-life decisions concerning children, living arrangements for the family, the sale of the former marital home, the equitable distribution of assets and liabilities, child support, alimony, and any other issues unique to that particular family can be addressed directly by and between the parties, and, in some instances, all issues can be resolved in as little as one or two mediation sessions. Then, either party can proceed with an uncontested divorce where no one needs to even appear physically in the courthouse; uncontested divorce hearings can be handled remotely, and the parties can secure a Final Judgment of Divorce incorporating the terms of their mediated Marital Settlement Agreement and live separately but happily ever after. 

Funds that would otherwise be used to hire combating attorneys can then be used for counseling, education expenses, family vacations, and extracurricular activities.

While the mediator cannot be the attorney for either party, the parties do not give up their right to consult with attorneys, even if they utilize the services of a mediator. Some clients choose to proceed without counsel and file for their uncontested divorce without ever retaining an attorney; some clients retain attorneys before mediation and have the benefit of legal counsel in between sessions; and some clients wait to retain their legal counsel until after the mediation has resulted in a proposed Marital Settlement Agreement or Memorandum of Understanding. That attorney is retained merely to review the Agreement or Memorandum reached through mediation and to, ideally, process the parties’ uncontested divorce in accordance with the terms of the Agreement or Memorandum resulting from mediation. The family has accordingly saved money, saved time, and, most importantly, their children and each other from the costs and acrimony of litigating a divorce or custody matter.

Mediation Key Points

•  Mediator is Neutral

-  A mediator is a neutral third party who helps guide both spouses through the discussion and decision-making process. The mediator does not take sides or make decisions for the parties but facilitates communication and helps the parties work toward mutually agreeable solutions.

• Focus on Communication

- Mediation provides a structured, confidential environment where both parties can openly and respectfullyy communicate their needs, concerns, and desires. In family law, this is especially important as emotions can run high.

•  Addressing Key Issues

 -  Mediation is used to resolve various aspects of divorce and family law, including:

 - Child Custody and Visitation: Mediators help parents develop a parenting plan that works in the best interest of the children, focusing on the child’s needs rather than the parents' emotions.

- Child and Spousal Support: Mediation helps negotiate financial arrangements like child support or alimony, helping both parties reach fair and sustainable agreements.

- Division of Assets and Debts: Mediators assist in fairly distributing property and debts, ensuring both parties are satisfied with the outcome.

- Spousal and Child Protection Orders: In some cases, mediation can help resolve disputes involving protection orders, though this may depend on the situation’s safety and seriousness.

•  Voluntary and Confidential

 - Voluntary: Participation in mediation is typically voluntary, although in some cases, a judge may order mediation before proceeding to trial. However, both parties must agree to the process.

 - Confidentiality: Mediation sessions are private, and the information discussed is not admissible in court, which allows for open and honest conversation without fear of it being used against them later in the litigation process.

•  Cost and Time Efficient

 -Cost-Effective: Mediation can be significantly less expensive than a court battle, as it typically requires fewer hours and is less formal.

 - Time-Efficient: It is often quicker than litigation, as parties can come to agreements much faster than waiting for court dates or hearings. This can be especially beneficial when parents or spouses need to move forward with their lives.

•  Outcome of Mediation

-Agreement:  If both parties reach a mutual agreement, the mediator will help draft a settlement agreement that can be reviewed by attorneys and then submitted to the court for approval. Once approved, it becomes a legally binding agreement. It should also be noted that agreements reached by and between the parties are often much easier to implement and enforce; the more agreement there is between the parties, the more likely the mediation or arbitration resolution will be complied with by all parties moving forward.

- No Agreement:    If mediation doesn't result in an agreement, the parties can still take their issues to court for resolution or adjudication. However, mediation often helps narrow down the issues and improve the chances of reaching a resolution later, even if some issues still need to be submitted to the court. A good mediator or arbitrator will, accordingly, initially focus on where the parties agree with one another, hopefully limiting issues in dispute and facilitating each party’s focus on those issues which they need the help of the third party to resolve.

•  Benefits of Mediation

- Less Adversarial: Because mediation is less confrontational than litigation, it can help preserve relationships, which is important for co-parenting after a divorce.

- Control and Flexibility: The parties have more control over the outcome of the mediation process compared to a judge's ruling. They can craft solutions that work for them, which may not always be possible in court.

- Focus on Future: Mediation encourages the focus to be on the future rather than past grievances, which is especially helpful for divorcing parents who need to continue working together post-divorce.

• When is Mediation Not Appropriate?

- Domestic Violence or Abuse: If there is a history of abuse or power imbalance, mediation may not be appropriate because one party may feel unsafe or unable to freely express themselves.

 -Severe Conflict or Non-Disclosure: If one party is unwilling to be open, honest, or cooperative, mediation may not work. Both parties need to be willing to negotiate in good faith.

Conclusion

Mediation is a valuable tool in family law disputes because it allows divorcing couples to reach solutions that are tailored to their unique needs and circumstances. It emphasizes collaboration, saving time, money, and often lessening emotional strain compared to traditional litigation. However, it's important to recognize that it is not suitable for every case, particularly when there are concerns about safety or significant power imbalances between the parties. If you believe that Mediation or Alternative Dispute Resolution would benefit you, contact New Jersey Mediation Lawyer Howard Mendelson.